Concentrated Hypersomatropine

//A transcription of Roxy Aldona's radio broadcast //

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Roxy: Welcome back, fans. This is Roxy Aldona and you are listening to WTALK.

On the phone from his home in the exclusive Grantwood Estates, Dr. Adolf Heinzebacher, the inventor of the medical miracle, concentrated Hypersomatropine. Now tell us doctor, what exactly does this new drug do?

Heinzebacher: Vell, it iz not a drug. No, no. Concentrated Hypersomatropine, or cHSt, it iz a hormone, purely natural. Ve at Denetaview Labs take ze growth und development hormones dat already exist in ze human body und, using ze genomic properties present in zeze hormones, ve concentrate ze desired properties from zese genes into a medical serum for thereputic use.

Roxy: I see. And what are the medical benefits of cHSt therepy?

Heinzebacher: Ve have zeen a wide variety of benefits for our patients. Zey have shown to duplicate ze natural properties of ze human growth hormones. Muscle tissues have increased in mass and ze natural reparative properties in ze body have been shown to increase multiple times.

Roxy: Is it true that your own son has been treated with cHSt?

Heinzebacher: Vy yes, yes. After my son’s diagnosis, I came to zese country vere I concentrated my research to find a cure for ze degenerative condition zat had affected him. Ze treatment vith cHSt has proven immensely successful, az you know.

Roxy: And what about any side effects?

Heinzebacher: Vaht? No! No, ze talk of ze Heinzebacher effect, vy zat, zat is pure rumor. Zere iz no basis for any… No. No.

Roxy: Well Fans, that’s all the time we have today. Tune in tomorrow for another glimpse into the world of Cosmoplis’s movers and shakers!

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See also

Denetaview Labs
Heinzebacher effect

This is an ABC entry in the Cosmopolis Lexicon

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